Asking for permision

We needed to contact a few places to let us film there. We started with the Cambridge train station. This is the email we sent:

Hello

We are students at long road sixth form college studying A2 media. We are currently filming a music video which is the main piece of coursework for this term. We were wondering if we would be able to film a couple of shots on the platform and possibly on any trains that wouldn't be in use for about 30 minutes. We are filming on Thursday the 9th of October. We would really appreciate it if you could get back to us as soon as possible so we can adjust our shot list accordingly.

Thanks in advance Sam, Jenny, Robbie and Emma.

We also sent a similar email to Toys'R'Us. We should hear back from them before Thursday but if not we will need to change our shot list to make sure we have something to fill the gaps.